Sometimes, I feel completely lost --
It's like my brain is out of focus. Nothing around me seems to make sense. Everyday events are incomprehensible. I see other people and can't seem to even feel that understanding that I, too, am a human being. Utter alienation. Everything is blurry, scattered; though somehow, pain still resonates.
In this way, I guess I can relate to Banach's metaphor of being "trapped in a dark room with no windows" -- temporarily, being utterly cut off from others. But he endlessly repeats, "each of us is trapped in our own mind"-- "imperceptible ourselves to anyone outside of us". As I see it, when I feel incapable of connecting to others, it has to do with detaching from my own self. If I'm not willing to tap into into my own emotions and thoughts, how can I possibly even begin to understand someone else?
Can we truly understand ourselves, at any given time? He never seems to address this, focusing only on the fact that he believes we can't truly understand others. Most of the time, I can't control my own thought processes. I can't choose what to feel at a certain moment or in a certain situation. Sometimes I make no sense to myself; I surprise myself; I say or do things I didn't mean to -- "imperceptible ourselves to anyone outside of us," Banach says, but what of when I am imperceptible to myself?
And when I am imperceptible to myself? Most of the time, it takes a connection with someone else to help me try to understand me!
Is it impossible for me to fully know another person, to fully feel what they feel? Of course -- as I said, I have enough trouble with my own mind. But can anyone possibly contest that beautiful feeling of sympathy? The kind where you can feel it in not only your mind, but in your heart, in your bones, in your skin? The kind of bond that is so earnest it's almost tangible? Whether it's "true" or not, "real" or not -- is there anything more worth living for than that feeling? Isn't it maybe what we're all searching for every day of our lives? Aren't we all yearning for some kind of belonging?
How can someone explain away empathy so great that it's overwhelming?
"No one else can feel what we feel, and we cannot feel what is going on in anyone else's mind," Banach states. If we are all "absolute individuals" as he apparently thinks we are, how can he make these generalizations about humankind, if he believes we can't truly know anyone else? "When you think of it, the only thing we ever perceive immediately and directly is ourselves," he says. "You," "you," "you," ad nauseam.
When "you" think of it -- so Mr. Banach here is somehow so enlightened that he has access to the thoughts and perceptions that "you" have? Sure, I'm guilty of "we"s and "you"s, too, in what I'm writing right here. But I'm not attempting to convince anyone of anything, to portray what I'm saying as ultimate truth (just to try to get my own thoughts sorted out) -- I'm not the one with any authority.
He has some very interesting things to say. But to tell me what I think and what I see when he's expounded on about how it's not possible?
Well, I'd say it's kind of hypocritical. :)
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Amanda –
ReplyDeleteYour entry was incredibly insightful, sometimes I can relate to how you feel, I never actually thought of alienation being because of the fact that a person wasn’t capable of tapping into their human emotions. But I also feel as human emotions are a scary thing..really tapping into them opens of a floodgate of confusion because human emotions are so contradictory and confusing.
I especially love when you say “And when I am imperceptible to myself? Most of the time, it takes a connection with someone else to help me try to understand me!” because this also connects back to what Banach says further on in his lecture about “us as human beings” molding who we are through those whom are in our environment and the relationships we maintain with others.
I love the tidbit where you talk about the use of “you” “we” “us” … because it’s so true and I find myself almost missing the point somehow by continuing to use these phrases, because I can only speak for “me” not “them” “they” or even “us”.
I especially enjoyed reading your post because I felt like it took Banach’s ideas to another level and pushed me as a reader to think more about my own ideas and connections.
- Binta <33
Okay, I don't don't do the whole adcdef style commenting thing, so bear with me.
ReplyDeleteThis post was nothing short of spectacular. I mean, I was MOVED. Emotionally. I've only rarely seen someone relate so well to the human condition, and specifically, my thoughts. I knew my own post was lacking, but now I know that it was downright crap. This is really something we should aim to be. You've been added to the list of people that I haven't met, but inspire me.
Creepy enough? :) Reese's Peacies.